Hazardous Dedication
by Spashley
Summary: AU Buffy use to have a great life till her father left, her best friend moved, her mother died and her boyfriend cheated on her. Now the only person she has left is her sister, but what happens when even she is taken away but this time...you can stop it.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Crushing Words**

She debated whether she should call him or not. It wasn't like they don't talk anymore they just haven't in over 2 years. He had been such a big part in her life but now, she had changed so much after her mother died, she wondered if they would ever be the way they were.

But then she remembered this wasn't about her. It was about Dawn. Spike loved Dawn just as much as she did. He treated her like his own sister and he would want to know, no matter how bad it was.

She picked up the phone, staring at the buttons for a while, still debating on calling him or not.

She remembered back when her mother had died. She did the same thing as she was doing now, only that time she didn't call him. She picked up the phone numerous times only to put it back down again. But that time had been about her. She felt like she wanted pity from him if she called him about her mother and she didn't want that to be the topic of their first conversation in a year. But now it had come back to almost the same situation, maybe worse. This time she could do something about her sister and her death. And for that, she needed Spike. If she lost Dawn, she needed someone to be there for her to fall back on. To keep her strong. And to make her better. She couldn't lose another person she loved alone.

Dialing his cell number, she listened to the five rings on the other end and was about to hang up.

"Hello?" the voice on the other end was like heaven to her ears.

She had forgotten how much she missed him until she finally heard him speak.

It felt like forever.

"Spike? Its me. B..Buffy. Buffy Summers." She said, her voice shaky.

"Buffy! How are you luv? It's been forever."

He was too cheerful. She hated herself for calling him this way. She should have called him sooner, maybe if she had, telling him about Dawn would've been easier than it is now. She didn't want to spoil his good mood so decided to make small talk and forget about telling him about Dawn. It would destroy him.

"I've been all right, Spike. How are you?"

"Buffy, what's wrong?"

_Damn it!_ She thought. She knew her voice was shaky but she thought she had calmed it down. Maybe to the ordinary person she would have appeared calm and collective but to Spike, he knew something was wrong by the slightest change in her voice. After all the time they spent away from her, he still knew her better than himself. God she missed him.

"Something has happened..." she said slowly, being cut off by Spike.

"What is it? Are you alright? Is Dawn okay?"

Her stomach flipped at his question. She felt like she was going to be sick as her chest became tight and tears stung her eyes.

She tried to find the words to tell him, attempting to form sentences that wouldn't hurt him.

"Dawn, she was taken...by someone. She has gone missing." She surprised herself by how calmly she has said it. But no matter haw calm she was, she could sense Spikes heart-ache like she was staring right at him.

"When? When did this happen?" He asked, his voice cracking.

"It's been 8 days now. They...uh, the cops are doing everything they can to find her but nothing...lately."

She heard a sob and a sniffle. He was crying. She felt like a monster breaking the news to him. He had been so happy when he first realized it was her but now, it sounded like he could barely speak. She hated herself for causing him this much pain.

"Spike, im sorry." She whispered trying to control her own emotions for the sake of his.

There was a brief pause until he finally answered, his voice even and deep.

"Buffy, luv, don't be sorry. I...oh god." he sniffled.

Another pause.

"Buffy, I'm coming home. I'll be there tonight. Same place?"

"Yes."

She was lost for words. She wanted to tell him not too. She wanted to tell him to stay away, not wanting him to see her like this...destroyed and weak. She wanted to yell at him to not come near her because he would only make it worse.

But she couldn't. She needed him way to much to deny him. And even if she did tell him everything she wanted to, he would still come. He would be able to tell she was lying and hear the need in her voice. He wouldn't have believed a word she said. And she loved that sense of comfort and familiarity that she had lost in her life. No one will ever know her as well as Spike does. She never gave anyone the chance to.

Lost in thought, she hadn't realized he had hung up. He was probably already on his way toward the airport and on her way to see her.

He was coming home. In just a few short hours she would see the man who had been her closest friend since she was 7, he being 9. She would have something in her life that was taken away, back in her life. And he would be the strength and support for her to find her sister. In just a few short hours, her life wouldn't seem so broken anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Reliving the Past**

14 years ago

"_Hey!" Buffy shouted across the street to the boy who was holding her and her friends kickball._

_She walked over to him and snatched the ball out of his hands. _

"_You're the new kid, right?" She asked as she bounced the ball casually._

"_Yes. My name is William Giles. That's my Father Rupurt. We came here from England." He said excitingly, a smile from ear to ear. "You are?"_

"_Names Buffy. Buffy Summers. And I came here from across the street. Do you want to play with us, we need another person. You can be on my team."_

_She didn't think he could smile any bigger._

"_Sure!" _

_She took his hand and led him off. _

8 years ago

"_William!" Buffy shouted from across the high school hallway as she had seen her best friend. His hair was bleached and he had a completely different style consisting of a leather coat and black jeans with black boots._

_She ran over to him and gave him a huge hug. She hadn't seen him since the last day of school when he left for his summer in England. But now he was back and she missed him so much._

"_So how was your summer in England?" she asked as she walked down the hall with him._

"_Great! Look I got to get to class luv but I'll see you when we get home. But I want you to remember High school is a lot different from Middle school. Watch your back and if any pillock tries to mess with you just tell them you know me. And the name is Spike."_

_She raised her eyebrows at the new name and he mouthed the word please and he put his hands in a praying position and pleaded her silently to take the new name._

_She nodded. "Bye spike." Kissing his cheek and pushing him to leave._

"_Bye pet!" He yelled, already out of sight._

5 years ago

"_Buffy it wasn't your fault" Spike said, comforting her as she cried in his arms._

"_He left. He didn't even say goodbye."_

"_Buffy, your dads a wanker. I told you I never liked him from the bloody start. He's an ass. All the comments he made to you and to your mum. I didn't like it. He's a bastard Buffy."_

_He rocked her slow, caressing her face as he kissed the top of her head._

_He made everything better, no matter what the situation is. She got lost in the moment to care about her fathers disappearing act._

_They both heard a car pull up._

"_Riley's here." She said quietly as she wiped her puffy eyes and sat up. "Do I look okay."_

_He wiped away a tear and smiled. "Beautiful."_

_They stared at each other for what seemed like forever but wasn't even a second._

_She could felt him lean in and lightly touch his mouth with hers but pulled away faster then when he leaned in. So fast buffy wasn't sure if it really happened or not._

"_Yea. I should go. I got to meet Dru. She's waiting."_

"_Are you sure you can't stay." she whispered._

_He was about to answer but was interrupted by Riley pushing past him and hugging his girlfriend. He saw how she had wrapped herself into Riley's arms and so he left. He knew she felt safe in his arms._

_But he was wrong. She cared for Riley with all her heart but he never gave her the sense of security and safety as Spike did. No one did._

3 years ago

"_Your leaving?" Buffy said, shocked._

"_Tomorrow morning. Drusilla is going to College up in New York and she asked me to go with her."_

"_But you go here to U.C. Sunnydale."_

"_Not anymore. I'll now be studying law with her down in the big city."_

"_That's...that's wonderful Spike" She lied. She could feel her heart skipping beats and her breathing becoming harder to do._

"_Your not happy. I know. Im not to pleased with it either but I'll come down and visit you. I promise. You're my girl buffy." he smiled as he gave her a hug. _

_Tears stung her eyes as she hugged him back, not wanting to let go. She didn't want to lose him. She knew she would. He would be too busy in his own life to care about her anymore. She had been so relieved when he was going to U.C. Sunnydale with her but now he was leaving and, as much as he promised, he wouldn't come back. Her father left her and now Spike. She couldn't take it. _

_She shoved him away from her and turned to walk the other way._

"_Buffy...?"_

"_Just leave." Her tone was cold and she knew he knew better then to talk back._

_She walked up to her room and slammed the door, collapsing against it as she cried so hard, she didn't think she would stop. She hated saying goodbye like that but any other way would be too much to bare. Being mad at him was easier than missing him. But the anger only lasted a day or two until the sadness had settled in and the tears flowed again._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Get Acquainted**

She must've went through her whole wardrobe that night, trying to find something that was right for the occasion. But after a few hours she just went with a sweatshirt and a pair of jeans, coming to the conclusion that nothing can be really right for this type of situation. "Besides, its only Spike." She told herself as she headed downstairs.

She waited on the couch for a knock at the door. She looked up at the clock countless times until finally she heard it. It was faint but there was no mistaking it. She stared at the door, trying to find the strength to get up and open it.

Another knock, this time it was harder and more frantic. She walked over, glancing at the clock one last time. 8:13. She opened it.

He looked basically the same as she remembered him. His hair was still bleached but the dark roots were now showing through. It was really curly and was all over the place, he obviously didn't bother with it when she called. His face looked tired, puffy eyes from crying and the blue that is usually so intense seem to have a foggy lens over them. He wore a blue button down shirt where the buttons didn't match the right holes and was wrinkled from being tucked in to his loose blue jeans. He was taller than she remembered him but he could've always grown, they were still young when he left.

"Buffy..." Spike drifted off as he dropped his luggage where he stood and hugged her tightly.

She wrapped herself in him. God she missed this. She needed this. She longed for a connection with someone after her mother died and never got from Riley. She knew she should've called him. He would've made it better. He always does, even without trying he always did.

She closed her eyes as the tears started to fall. "Spike...I missed you." She sobbed as she felt his embrace tighten on her, making her feel even more safe.

Neither of them knew how long they stood there like that but it didn't matter. As long as he was there with her, nothing else mattered for now.

He loosened his hold on her to look her in the eyes.

"How are you holding up? You okay luv?"

"Some days are better than the really horrible days. And then some are worse than that." She smiled weakly as they kept their eyes on each other.

She heard another car pull up and pushed him away gently. "Get your bags and come in, I'll show you where you'll be sleeping." She walked him outside to his taxi to collect his stuff.

She saw the man get out of the cop car that had pulled up and was now walking over to her.

"Miss Summers?" He asked as they both arrived at the taxi, Spike watching with a close eye.

"Yes?"

"I'm Angel O'Hara from Angel Investigations. I was hired to help you, they said you needed someone."

She nodded.

Angel was a handsome man. His shirt and pants were cleanly pressed and his hair perfectly trimmed and gelled. He had a sturdy look about him as he smiled at her and held out his hand to greet her formally.

She took it and smiled once more.

Spike noticed Buffy's reaction to Angel, and he didn't like it. The way her eye sparkled when she smiled at him was only meant for him. He decided to stop this before it started.

"Hello mate, Names Spike." He said as he held out his hand while his other arm wrapped tightly around Buffy, making sure it hadn't gone unnoticed by Angel.

It hadn't.

Angels eyes watched Spike's hand grip Buffy's hip as he shook his hand.

"Yes, well..." Angel started. "Should we get inside, talk about what will be going on to find your sister."

Buffy walked out of Spike's grip and led the two men into the house. She could feel the strain between the two ever since Angel stepped out of the car. She hoped it was her imagination but it only grew stronger when they talked to each other. She needed everyone working together on this. She didn't need personal feelings to get in the way of what was important. She looked up at Spike who was now on the couch, his bags dropped at the bottom of the couch as Angel pulled up a chair and started taking out paperwork, covering the coffee table with them.

"No personal feelings." She said to herself as she stared at Spike. She couldn't get involved with anyone right now. It wouldn't be fair to either of them at this point. It needed to be all about Dawn, she couldn't worry about herself and what she feels. No matter how strong the feelings were.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Venturous Wonder**

By the time midnight had rolled around, Everyone was tired. They had gone through different possibilities, the worse and the best. None of the things that Angel has said were guaranteed, she knew that much. There was nothing much to go through except now find suspects and clues to Dawn's whereabouts.

Angel got up and said his goodbyes, trying to sound sincere about meeting them both when Buffy knew he didn't like Spike.

"I'll leave you these, miss Summers. And my card. It's all there in the folder. If you need me...at any time, do not hesitate to call me."He smiled once more and turned toward Spike, nodded then walked out.

"I don't like him." Spike pointed out as he started picking up his bags.

"I've noticed. Through the whole thing, all you did was glare at him and made rude comments."

She said as she headed up the stairs, having him follow.

She lead him to her old bedroom, which was now an extra as she took her mothers room. It still had a lot of her stuff in it but it was mostly empty.

"Where are you gonna sleep luv?" He asked as he dropped his things next to the bed.

"I have Moms room now." She said quietly. She had forgotten he didn't know about her mom.

"So where is Joyce? How has she been?" He smiled at her as he sat down on the bed.

She couldn't breathe. She felt like such a horrible person hiding her death from him. Joyce was like a mother to him. She couldn't bring herself to a more low place. She lost it, falling to the floor and crying so hard, she started hyperventilating.

He ran to her, figuring out about Joyce, pulling her onto his lap as he cradled her, holding back his own tears. She clung to him, feeling so weak

"It...there was a tumor." She sobbed as he rocked her slowly.

"Shhh, its okay. I'm here luv."

She calmed herself down as she raised her eyes to his. "Promise me you won't leave. Not again."

She saw the tears in his eyes, waiting to flow free and that twisted her insides painfully, seeing him so hurt. This has to be one of the worse days of his life, finding out all this horrible information. At least she had time between to get over the heartache. Spike had the reality crash down in just a few short hours. She could only imagine what he is going through.

"I'll never leave you." He whispered as he kissed her forehead and held her tightly. "Never."

She woke up in her own bed the next morning. Rolling over she saw that Spike had slept next to her. There was still an imprint in the pillow from where head was and the spot was still warm. She tried remembering last night but the last thing she remembers is falling asleep in his arms in her old room. That was the first night since Dawn disappeared that she had a good night's sleep, or sleep at all.

She smiled as she heard something fall in the kitchen. "He's trying to cook again." she laughed as she got out of bed and headed downstairs. When she got to the kitchen she saw him working hard at the stove. He was shirtless with his blue jeans on and his hair was even more messy, kind of flat on one side while the other winged out. She had to giggle which made spike turn around and smile.

"Thought I would be done with this by the time you woke up."

"You put me to bed?" She asked as he placed her pancakes on a plate and handed them to her.

"Yea. Woke up 'round 2am so I thought you would like to be in your bed instead of the floor."

"And...you just...decided to stay with me?"

He glanced at her then turned back toward the stove. "You said not to leave you." His voice barely a whisper. "I didn't want you to wake up in the middle of the night bloody terrified. But when I woke up this morning, you looked so peaceful so I thought I would surprise you...but you woke up earlier than I expected." He turned to give her a warm smile which she returned. He finished his set of pancakes and sat across from her as he started to eat.

They ate in silence through their whole breakfast. She had questions for him, and he had for her, but neither of them knew where to start.

"That was delicious" Buffy yawned as she stretched her arms over her head.

"I did good."

"Spike..." Buffy started but stopped to wait till he said something for her to continue, but since Spike knew her too well, he already knew her question.

"We aren't together anymore. Drusilla left me a while back for another bloke. Guess he had more money than me."

"I'm sorry."

He shrugged as he sipped his coffee. "Doesn't matter. So how are you and Riley, You two still together?"

She shook her head as she glanced down at her own cup of coffee. "Riley also found someone else."

"Hmm, well maybe ours ran off together." Spike joked, trying to lighten mood.

"No. I knew the girl. You knew her too, Faith?"

Spike nodded, remembering her in High school, making passes at him every chance she would get and throwing herself at his friends right in front of him at the same time. She would take anyone she could get, and if they were taken, that was just more of a challenge to her, and she wanted them even more.

"Well he's a git for ever letting a girl like you get away. He was a fool. I told you that every day I saw you two together. He didn't deserve you."

"Well I always thought you were too good for Drusilla. I mean, she is pretty but that girl is one raving psychotic."

Spike laughed which made her smile. She loved when he laughed, never doing it often but she always seem to bring it out in him. She loved the way his eyes glisten and his skin turns a cute pink. She's loved it since she first saw him standing across the street with her kickball, so happy he moved to America.

"Luv...cell phone's ringing." Spike told her as he headed up the stairs.

She hadn't even realized she had zoned off, noticing he wasn't across from her anymore and suddenly hearing her cell go off.

She picked it up and saw the caller was an UNKNOWN.

"I'm gonna take a shower luv, be down in 10 minutes." Spike shouted from the stairs.

"Okay." She yelled back as she flipped up the phone and brought it to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Buffy..." The voice on the other line whimpered, obviously upset and crying.

"Dawn!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: A Capture's Greeting **

"Dawn?" She yelled into the phone when she didn't hear anything. She was positive she heard her sisters voice. But now there was nothing. "Dawn! Talk to me! Dawnie!" Buffy was in tears by the time another voice came on the other line.

"Do you miss her?" The voice asked her, his tone even and sounded computerized.

"Who are you bastard. I swear if you touch her..."

"Now, now Miss summers." The voice interrupting her as he ended with a chuckle. "Such a temper on you. Are you crying? It sounds like your crying. Such a wonderful sound."

His comments somehow made her stronger in her words and more confident in what she said.

"Listen you piece of shit. You will tell me where the fuck you are and you will tell me right now. You got that asshole? Do you understand me?"

Her heart was beating a mile a minute, feeling as though it was going to bust right through her chest. It didn't answer right away, she only heard breathing then...

"Buffy!" Dawn painfully screamed in the background. Buffy nearly fell over, becoming dizzy as she heard her sisters screams of pain. The voice came back on.

"I understand you perfectly Miss Summers. Now understand me. First, call me a piece of shit, an asshole, or anything that I take offensive, she will die. You hurt my feelings there."

She could hear the smile on their face as they spoke their words.

It continued.

"Second, call the cops like the detective that came to your house last night to track me down, she dies. And not only her... are you happy with him?"

Her heart stopped. How could he possibly know about Spike.

"Am I happy with who?" She asked as innocently as she could, her courage slowly fading the longer he held the silence.

"That blonde man. You two looked pretty cozy last night in bed."

Another chuckle.

"I'll kill him. If you do anything as much as ignore my next phone call. I'll kill them, both. And I'll make you watch when I do."

Tears streamed her face but she held in her sobs, not wanting him to hear how upset she was. It would only give him more things to say to hurt her.

"Till we speak again Miss Summers. And by the way, How was the pancakes?"

She slammed the phone shut. She made a mistake of insulting him and now she had to watch for what she says. She couldn't be the reason Dawn dies. She wouldn't allow it.

"Who was it?" Spike asked as he came down the stairs, his hair still wet as he wore a grey sweater and black loose jeans. Buffy turned her red face, showing him her tears.

"Pack your bags." She said evenly as she walked up the stairs, pushing past him and slamming the door to her room.

It wasn't long when she heard a knock on the other side of it. She didn't answer it but she knew that wouldn't stop him from entering.

"Buffy, what's wrong? Who was it?" He walked over cautiously as he sat next to her at the edge of the bed.

"It was Dawn's Kidnapper. He has Dawn alive but she was obviously in pain. She...she screamed for me." The tears fell from her red eyes as she continued. "He said he would kill her and you if I don't listen to him, that's why I need you gone."

"Buffy, luv...I..."

"Just leave!" She shouted as she pushed him, causing him to fall off the bed.

He stumbled as he fought to get up, running over to her as he grabbed her violently by the shoulder, forcing her to stand up.

"You will not push me away like this. Not again. You don't have the right to." His eyes were cold as the Blue had faded to black and anger plastered on his face.

"You were the one who left remembered!" Buffy yelled, trying to escape from his painful grip but not succeeding.

"I am not going anywhere, do you understand me? Im staying right here. Im not gonna lose you...not again, and after everything..."

"Lose me? Lose me! I wasn't yours to ever lose Spike. I was never yours. And never will be. Your nothing to me!" She freed her one arm and slammed him in the face with her fist, hard.

Spike, even more mad, regained control as he spun them around and slammed her against the wall.

"Take. That. Back." His voice deep and threatening, his eyes narrowed on her.

"What are you gonna do Spike? Huh? Are you gonna hit me? Do it. Hit me Spike. Go ahead, no one's stopping you. Hit me!"

She waited for his fist to connect with her face but it never came, instead she felt his mouth crash against hers so hard, she was sure she would have a bruise in the morning.

He kissed her hungrily as he still had a tight hold oh her arms while she grinded her pelvis into his, causing a growl to escape deep in his throat.

He pulled his mouth away and gazed in her eyes, looking for a sign on what she wanted but he saw nothing. He couldn't read her face. For the first time in his life that he has known her, he didn't know what she was thinking.

He loosened his hold on her but still didn't let go, letting her make the decision whether she wanted to stay or not.

She pushed his hands off of her arms so she could pull him down for another kiss, this time softer and slower.

He let his hands linger down to her waist, pulling her closer to him.

"Hello? Buffy?" Angels voice echoed from downstairs.

"Oh balls." Spike sighed.

They parted, adjusted their clothes, making them look presentable and like they weren't up to anything.

Buffy started walking out the room only to be stopped by Spike, grabbing her wrist.

"You know I'm not leaving." He informed her, spinning her around as he saw the tears filling her eyes.

She gently pulled her wrist from his hold and headed for the door.

"I know."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Swaying Emotions**

"He called you!" Angel shouted as he was pacing through her living room. "And you decided to tell me this now! Why didn't you call me! Miss Summers, this is big!"

"He told me not to contact you or any of the police. You shouldn't even be here right now. I don't need your help Angel, thank you anyway." Buffy told him, watching him pace impatiently from the fireplace, spike sitting at the end on the arm of the couch, his arms crossed and obviously annoyed with Angels attitude.

"Yea mate." Spike added with a smile. "So you'll just be on your merry way."

Angel shot an angry look at spike as he walked closer to buffy. "You do need my help, as much as you both hate to admit it and I can help you with this. We can find this guy. Just...we can put a tracker on your phone and cameras outside your home. He is obviously watching you from what you told me about the pancakes. You need our help otherwise you might never find him. Or if you do find, you aren't going to be able to take him down" Angel reached and brushed his finger against her arm, making her twitch violently from pain that Spike had caused unknowingly to her arm when he grabbed her so hard he left bruises. Angel pulled away quickly like she had burnt him, not knowing what made her hurt when he barely brushed her arm.

Spike, noticing her flinch as well, stepped closer as he got into his protective mode, wrapping a strong arm around her waist and pulling her to him. "I think its time for you to leave... Angel O'Hara."

Just as he was about to walk out, Her cell phone rings. Rings again. And again.

"Buffy, answer it." Angel demanded softly, picking up the phone and handing it to her.

She hesitated but finally answered. "What?"

"I thought I told you not to talk to the detective." The voice told her with an all too calm tone.

She didn't have a clue on what to say which wouldn't cause him to get angry. Keeping her mouth shut, she waited for him to say something else.

"I'm glad I picked you Miss Summers. You're a hell of a person do you know that." The person started laughing as if she had made a joke, but nothing about this conversation was a laughing matter and it annoyed her how amused he was.

"You picked me?" She asked carefully, not wanting him to get irritated. She couldn't believe how sick this person was, establishing a connection with her, learning about her life before they destroyed it.

"Of coarse, I pick all my victims. I learn about them so I know how to hurt them, How else would I know everything I do, and believe me, I know probably more about you than you do." Another sadistic laugh. "But out of all my victims, you seem to be the most interesting. Hang on Miss Summers...its going to be a bumpy ride! Are you ready?" They made one last laugh as they hung up.

She shut her cell phone, shaken a little but otherwise nothing. She couldn't pick what she was feeling because she felt everything at once. Anger, fear, hatred, Sadness, stressed, and much more. All the emotions were flowing through her body all leading to one main emotion...determination. She vowed to herself at that moment she was going to find her sister. Whoever had Dawn was challenging her. And she was going to accept it. She knew she can beat him. She could feel it. Her heart was racing, her blood pumping, sweat forming. She could feel the determination slowly take over her body.

"Buffy?" Spike whispered, staring at her carefully, trying to pick up on what she was feeling.

"Im ready." She announced, looking up from the cell phone to the two men staring back at her.

"For what?" Angel asked, walking a bit closer.

"War."

Angel and Spike looked at each other them back at Buffy, both thinking she had lost it.

"Buffy, I know your tired but..." Spike started but was immediately cut off by Buffy.

"I'm beyond tired. I'm beyond scared. I am in the middle of some psycho's twisted game that they think I can't beat. Well let them think that. They want a fight. Well we'll give them one. If either of you want to walk out on this, do it now. Because we just became a team. We just accepted a challenge. Its going to be gruesome and tiring and severe, but we can do it. I know we can. We are so much stronger than they are and if they so much as lay a hand on any of us...I'll kill them myself."

She paused for a moment, letting them take in everything she had just said. Smiling a bit when she noticed the shock and surprise looks on their faces, she continued with confidence.

"Any questions?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: bruising truth**

In two days, Angel has successfully bugged her cell phone and hired three new people to the team. Anya Jenkins, a professional and expert from an elite search and rescue team from Los Angeles, Charles Gunn and Alexander Harris, two of the best security men Angel had on his staff. Of coarse he was a frequent visitor at Buffy's house now, barely ever letting her out of his sight except to go to the office or his home to sleep. Buffy watched as the team slowly came together, watching as everyone did their best at making her feel safe with them. She did. Everyone she had met gave off welcoming warm vibes.

"Okay, everything seems to be set so far." Angel said as he sat next to Buffy at the kitchen counter. "Gunn will stay during the nighttime. He's stronger and Xander, who is shyer than the two will take the day. Both of them are good men. You'll be safe with them."

"I don't need bodyguards, Spike is here."

"The more protection there is, the more you stay safe. This person wants to establish an intimate connection with you and that tells me he is much more determined than most wacko's I've worked with."

"Thank you, that's really comforting." She chuckled as she silently thanked Anya as she handed her a cup of coffee.

"Im not comforting you Buffy, I'm informing you. This is what you need to know."

Buffy rolled her eyes as she got up and walked over to where spike was standing, wrapping an arm around him as she watched Gunn and Xander play with the bug for the house phone.

Suddenly everything went silent as the cell phone rang, quickly picking it up and bringing it to her ear.

"You're very determined aren't you?" The voice was unmistakable.

"You should've known that. Don't you know me better than I do?" she proclaimed, trying to press his buttons, ignoring Angels glare of disapproval.

"Yes, your right. I did know that. That's one of the reasons I chose you. I knew you wouldn't of given up easily. Not after your mother died."

He paused briefly.

"Just imagine...she would probably still be here if you had gotten there ten minutes earlier. You could've saved her life. Isn't that right?"

Buffy didn't answer. She couldn't. She could barely breathe.

"I apologize, I can tell I hurt you...it wasn't polite. Oh, How is your arm feeling? Is it any better?"

Her eyes were so wide she felt like they would pop out. Everyone around her questioned her silently on what he had said, Xander signaling her to keep talking so he can trace the signal, obviously having a hard time doing so.

"It's better. Thank you for asking." Sarcasm coating her voice.

"Well, put some ice on it, I need you well. Your going to do a search for me. You see, I've murdered a dozen people and I'm having trouble remembering where I hid the bodies...I'd like you to find them for me."

"Why?" Asking him, her curiosity getting the best of her. The phone was slippery with sweat and she had to keep switching the phone from ear to ear to keep her ears from getting hot. She was a nervous wreck but contained it as best she could.

"Why you ask? Well because I said so. Who has Dawn? Remember that."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Go down to the pond right outside Sunnydale. Its not a far drive, and tell the police that you have a lead on the three missing girls four years back."

_Four years._ She thought. She could only imagine how much damage he could've caused in four years, seeing as he is doing a pretty good job at destroying her.

"Tell the police to look under the mud, right on the edge where the water meets the land. There should be a circle of rocks...You will find them there."

"You marked where they were?" She asked, disgusted as how sadistic and psychotic this person really was.

"Have fun, Miss Summers." They Hung up.

"Damn it!" Xander shouted. "The number is protected. Its traced back to the same number at about a million other places. Different states, countries, even continents. Whoever this guy is, he knows what he's doing."

Spike, who was sitting with Xander, listening to the conversation, walked over to Buffy and held her in a sweet embrace, kissing her forehead. "You did good, luv. You stayed strong."

She smiled at him as she backed up. "I'm going tomorrow. Check out the site. See if what he says is true."

"No!" Angel growled. "Not alone."

"Yea, captain forehead is right for once, you aren't doing this alone." Spike added, giving Angel a sarcastic smile as he turned back to buffy.

"Neither of you have a choice in that. Deal with it." Buffy started walking out of the room.

"Buffy!" Spike shouted, making her stop dead in her tracks. "You don't tell me what to do. You don't make decisions for me. What gives you the right-"

"I took the right Spike. Someone had to make decisions for you and you let it be me."

"But at the same time you shut me out and kept me at a distance."

Neither of them caring they had an audience, the argument turned in another direction.

"I did. So maybe you should just accept it and mind your own damn business."

"No. Not this time. This time you are my business. I've let you use me before but not again. Never again will I let you take my always being here for granted. You're gonna have to stop being so bloody selfish and not walk away from this."

"I've never taken you for granted, you're my friend Spike-"

"And I'm bloody tired of it! Screw friendship! I...just..." Spike saw the pain in her eyes and couldn't continue. "We'll talk about this another time. Go on. Go run off and shut down." He stormed off, grabbing his jacket and slamming the door.

She stood there for a moment as she took in everything that had just been said. She glanced around the room and realized everyone's eyes were on her. She let the tears fall from her eyes before she turned and walked out.

Spike was right, she needed to shut down. Needed to escape from the pain. The hurt. Most of which, was caused by the man she was just yelling at. She was confused about what he meant with his words and had no clue on how to take them.

_"And I'm bloody tired of it! Screw friendship..."_

She thought up numerous meanings but one was as ridiculous as the next. He had to make things difficult at this point in time.

The kidnapper she could handle, she knew what to expect. But with Spike, it's a whole new experience, especially with the feelings she had for him, no matter if they were mad at each other or not. Like right now, feeling a slight tingle between her legs. She tried to pretend like it wasn't for him, but she was lying to herself, her whole body knew what it was craving for. But she promised herself not to have a relationship with anyone, especially Spike.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Concealed Desire**

It was almost four in the morning when she got the phone call from Gunn.

"Miss Summers?" He asked on the other line.

"Yes? What is it?" Awake immediately from the sound of his voice. A mixture of aggravation and fear.

"Its Spike..."

Oh god. She didn't want to hear it. She couldn't bare Spike hurt or killed. A life without Spike is like a life without living. She needed him as much as she needed oxygen. She's always had, it becoming more evident with each passing day.

"...He's down at the site and I tried pulling him home but the guy went ballistic, punching and kicking and cursing."

She had to suppress a giggle when she heard how Gunn described Spike, like a 10 year old getting dragged out of a candy store without buying anything.

"Take me there. I'll bring him home."

"Miss summers-"

"Don't argue Gunn, you work for me. You are my bodyguard. You do as I say."

"Right then. I'm already outside. I'll be waiting Miss Summers."

She dressed in a hurry and headed out the door for Gunn's truck.

Buffy noticed Spike as soon as they pulled up to the pond. He was standing at the edge, hands in his pockets as he stared out toward the other side. She told Gunn to wait in the car before getting out and heading toward Spike's direction.

"It's late. Wasn't expecting you to come here." He told her as he took a deep breath, never looking at her.

"Well I wasn't expecting to come here either. You shouldn't be here Spike. It isn't safe."

"I'll be fine, luv. I'm a big boy." Finishing with a chuckle he sat down, patting to ground for her to do the same. "Did you come here by yourself?"

"No. Gunn is in the car. Waiting." She sat down, looking out to where Spike was.

"He does a good job. Both him and Harris. Angel did at least one thing right while he was here."

"Angel is a good man."

"No comment." Spike said with a smirk, tilting his head to finally look at her. She felt his eyes on her but didn't move. She couldn't look him in the eyes, just not now.

Silence crept over them as they both stared down at the pond now, watching the moon reflect off the water, every now and then a duck would swim by.

"We got information about the three girls." She whispered, shocking even herself as the silence broke. "They were all around 17 or 18. Same blonde hair. Practically the same height, around 5'4. From what we read in past newspapers, they all were pretty rich but it said that the girls suffered tragedy throughout their life."

Spike nodded, understanding a little more about the person stalking Buffy. "So, he takes the vulnerable ones. Messes with the ones who seem perfect but aren't."

"First of all I'm not vulnerable or seemingly perfect. But second, he must of really done his homework on these girls, They had everything going for them until this madman comes along and strips everything away."

"Then that is why we have to life live to the fullest and not shut people out."

She knew they were no longer talking about the girls anymore. He always did have a way with twisting words and changing topics of conversations.

"I called you for Dawn. Not for me. This has nothing to do with me and I don't want it to be. So yes, in a way I did shut you out."

"But why can't it be both. I can be here for you _and_ for dawn. I can take care of both of you, luv. Why don't you see that?"

"I do see that. I just don't want it."

"Bollocks! I can see it every time you bloody look at me. I can feel it Buffy. And you can feel it too. You're in my gut. In my throat. I'm drowning in you Summers, I'm drowning in you." He leaned over, pushing her hair away from her neck as he leaned down and gave her a peck on her throat, making a shiver run down her spine.

"I'm perfectly fine with the way things are. Why do you want to change my life? Why do want to be apart of this? This train wreck."

He raised his head, staring at her as she continued to look away.

"Because, I'm too bloody selfish. This isn't a train wreck. You're everything I want. What I could ever want. I loved being your friend but I want more."

"No. It won't...I just...spike it will never...I can't-"

"Sex?" He interrupted her babbling that made her freeze and her eyes go wide.

"Spike...I don't want it." Was all she could get out as her mouth went dry and her breathing became heavier. She had never spoken about sex with Spike before, always avoiding the topics when they spoke. But this time he made it clear that this is what he wanted to know. He wanted to move forward with her, but she just couldn't let it interfere, and it would.

"I think you do want it. I always know what you're feeling Buffy, and I can feel exactly what you are feeling right now."

"And that would be what?" Her voice weaker than she wanted it to be.

"Desire. You have such hunger for me, its radiating off of you. I can feel how much you want me otherwise I wouldn't be saying everything I am right now."

"You're wrong. You don't know-"

"I damn well do! I'd do anything for you. I've gotten so close to you, you became me. My center. You filled me till all that's left is you in a dead shell. You say you hate it but you won't leave. If you look beyond your fear and loneliness, I'd bet you'll see I'm your center too."

"Spike, you have been there for me all the times I needed you but you are like a brother to me." She lied about the last part, trying to get her way out of this conversation.

"I don't want to be a brother to you. I want to be with you. To have you. All of you. I can be so much more than a friend. I can please your body, luv." He started kissing her neck again, tracing his tongue along her cheekbone. She told herself to stop him but couldn't move. Her body wanted him to do that. To do more.

"How can I convince you that I can be more than a brother? More than a friend. Should I tell you how good I am in bed? Or how big I am?"

She couldn't suppress her laugh as he finished his cocky sentence. It was a nervous laugh. They both knew it but the mood was lightening up drastically, although Spike was still serious.

"Or would you like me to show you, pet?"

"Spike..." a faint whisper escaped her lips as she pushed him away.

"Its alright. I can wait. I've waited forever, little more won't hurt. But just know that every time I look at you...hear you, im not thinking of you as a friend or a sister, I'm seeing you in bed with me or beneath me or..." Now it was his turn to laugh as her face turned 10 shades of red and her eyes bulged out of there sockets.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help it." He giggled as he rose to he feet, offering her a hand to stand up as well. As she rose he pressed her flush against him and whispered in her ear persuasively.

"I'm not rushing this. I'm just telling you what's right in front of you. When you let yourself have what you want, you'll know where to find me."

His heat felt scorching on her body but she pressed in for more. She wanted him, always have but it wasn't fair to him. He kissed her cheek and pulled her with him as he headed toward the car.

"Come on, luv. Lets get some sleep. Maybe you'll get lucky and dream of me." Turning behind him to look at her, he winked and entered the back of the truck.

Every time she gained control of her body, he took every once of it away. She knew the next couple of days are going to be difficult. As they were talking, her perspective on him changed completely. She saw the sexual side of Spike, noticing the intense curves of his cheekbones that were sexy as hell, his plump lips teasing her. God, she wanted to kiss those lips...


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Who Is She**

Buffy woke up more tired, looking at the clock she noticed she barely got an hour's worth of sleep. This past week she barely slept because of stress of fear. Her head was aching with pain, everyday getting worse from the lack of sleep. She heared the whole team in her living room, waiting for her to come down, whispering something that she didn't quite catch.

She got up and walked downstairs. When she did, it turned silent. Everyone stopped whatever they were doing and turned to watch her walk down. She knew something had happened. She felt it in her gut, something was wrong.

"Buffy, please, come sit down." Angel asked as he walked over to her and guided them over to the couch. Angel sat but she didn't.

"What's wrong?" She asked, her voice thick with fear. She prayed it wasn't Dawn.

"A girl was found dead this morning at the pond where the caller said the four bodies were. They searched the area more and found three more bodies...well bones of bodies."

Buffy backed away slowly, bumping into someone, automatically knowing it was spike as he wrapped his arms around her and held her.

"Who is the girl?" She was torn between wanting to know and not wanting to. If it was the answer she was expecting she didn't know what she would do.

"We, well we don't know. The body was beaten so badly, it...it's hard to identify it right away. It's being looked at. We should know in a few hours." Angel replied softly, never looking at her when he spoke. He sighed then stormed out, slamming the door.

The room was filled with tension. Anya left the room, Buffy hearing her sobs from the kitchen.

She turned to Spike, now seeing that his eyes were filled with tears just waiting to be released. She could tell he thinks its Dawn's body just as much as she does.

"It's Dawn Spike, isn't it? It's her." She whispered, tugging on his shirt, causing him to wrap his arms around her tighter, exactly what she wanted him to do. She needed some type of security. Some form of safety. The simplist gestures can be the most profound. Just a touch from Spike had Buffy's nerves relax, but not much.

"We don't know that Buffy. I...They are looking into it. Dawn is fine. Alright?" Spike kissed her forehead, blinking rapidly as he tried to force his own tears away.

It was a rhetorical question. She knew that he didn't expect an answer.

The cell phone rang.

Spike ripped away from Buffy and headed straight for the phone.

"Spike, no!" Buffy yelled, running after him and grabbing the phone from his hands. "You can't answer it. You're too mad."

"Damn right I am! I want to know what that bastard knows!"

"Then let me ask him." She said calmly as she answered to call.

"Did you hear?" The voice asked her.

"Who is it? Who's the girl?" She said it too panicky and regretted having it come out they way it did.

"You did a good job on finding the girls. Of coarse, I did help a little. What can I say...I hate waiting." A chuckle sounded through the phone.

"Who is she?" She asked again, this time more demanding.

"It isn't dawn if that's what you are thinking, and I'm suspecting you are. It was good for you to think that, shows how much love you have for her."

Relieve poured throughout her body at the news. She took Spike's hand, who was standing right next to her, and squeezed it hard. She looked at him and gave him a slight smile, telling him it wasn't Dawn.

The voice spoke again. "I think you will be surprised on who it is. Think hard Miss Summers. Who contributed to the hurt in you're life? Who had taken something that was yours away from you?"

Her mind was racing, trying to think of all the possible people that matched the clues he gave her. The only person she could remotely think about was Drusilla and how she had taken Spike away from her. But she had Spike back, why would they even bother with her now. Besides, she was in New York. But she didn't quite rule her out just yet.

"Well, Miss Summers? Do you think you know?"

She didn't answer, instead she sighed heavily as she said calmly and evenly "I'm hanging up now."

"Fine. I'll accept that. You have a hard time talking now. Shock will do that to a person. Talk to you soon."

She lowered the phone from her ear, seeing everyone watching intensely for her to give them the heads up on what was said. She looked around and saw someone was missing.

"Where's Angel?" She was so blank before, she had forgotten he left.

"He needed to step out for a moment." Spike spoke up, taking the phone from her hands and hanging up as he placed it on the counter. "He'll probably be back later tonight, unfortunately."

Anya appeared from the kitchen with red eyes. "Did he tell you, who it was? Who the girl was?" she sniffled.

"It isn't Dawn but other than that, they didn't say."

"We'll find out. I've sent everything we collected down to my lab. They will call me immediately when they know who she is." Anya patted Buffy on the back. The two of them connected in a way no one can explain. Buffy vaguely remembers Anya saying both her parents died in a car crash but never asked the full details. She could relate to Anya. Losing a family member is like losing apart of yourself. In a way, she was Buffy's hero. Anya was still so strong after everything she had been through.

She watched as Anya walked over to where she sat next to Xander before continuing. "In the meantime, we can trace the number. We have it narrowed to about half a million now." Anya joked.

Both Spike and Buffy sat down, offering help to Xander, Gunn, and Anya. Buffy noticed how Anya and Xander spoke to each other. There was something there. Something between them. Xander kept making stupid jokes that she could tell was mostly meant for Anya, smiling when she laughed. She smiled at the thought of someone getting something good out of this. Anya and Xander would be good together, she seeing that they noticed that as well.

It was late in the night when her cell phone rang again. Anya had fallen asleep on the couch, leaning on Xander as he continued his work tracing the number and Gunn stood outside, scanning the area. She wasn't expecting a call from the kidnapper this early. He said soon but didn't think it would be this soon.

"Hello?"

"Buffy, it's Angel."

She was relieved to hear a different voice on the other end then the same one she heard for the past week.

"Who is it?" Xander asked her quietly, making sure not to make a lot of noise and wake Anya.

"Angel." She whispered back then directed her attention back to the phone.

"We found out who the girl was that we found at the pond."

Her mind automatically went back to Drusilla. How would she tell spike? She didn't really know how he would take it, he was with her for a long while before they spilt. She knew he still cared for her.

"Who is she?"

"Do you know a girl named Faith?"

Everything came together for Buffy.

_"Who contributed to the hurt in you're life. Who had taken something that was yours away from you."_

_ "...So how are you and Riley, You two still together?"_

"_Riley also found someone else."_

"_Hmm, well maybe ours ran off together." _

"_No. I knew the girl. You knew her too, Faith..."_

The conversations and memorys flashed through her head. This person is serious as hell, reality hitting her like a ton of bricks. They don't care who they kill or hurt, as long as the game is played.

And she was definitely going to play. The more he tried to hurt her, the more determined she got. They weren't going to hurt Dawn now, it was too far in the game for that but not quite the end either. She was smack dab in the middle. She knew, more was definitely about to come...

TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 10: A SHIFT IN THE GAME


End file.
